Two nights ago Cael and I went out to dinner. He started talking politics and he wanted to have a discussion where we could challenge one another. My problem is that I'm awful at keeping up with politics. I know it sounds very arrogant, but when I'm not studying the last thing I want to do is read the news; I want to let my mind go blank! He'd been pushing me to follow politics for a while but I hadn't.
On the ride home he asked me what I'd like to talk about. I suggested nutrition, horses, or language. He wasn't interested! So, then I said "How about we talk about DD?" We started talking and decided he's going to be a bit stricter. I have a few new rules...
1) I am now required to follow the news. He'll be evaluating me based on how well I'm able to discuss politics or other major events with him. I like this rule because it's something that makes him happy and I like to please him. In addition, I really do need to get back into following the news and it's very arrogant of me not to. So, I'm glad he's being strict on this.
2) We'll be doing "maintenance." It won't be scheduled but he'll do it frequently enough to remind me who is in charge. I need this; it's in between a good girl spanking and a punishment.
3) He's cracking down on me using "Sir." I know a couple posts ago I mentioned I enjoy using the word but I forget sometimes!
4) I am to maintain good posture. I've already gotten a few smacks for forgetting but I'm glad for the rule; it's something I've needed to fix anyway and he prefers when I stand up straight for him. He doesn't want me to be a weak sub who slouches and looks at the ground in his presence. I'm to remain his strong and upright girl.
When we got back from the car ride, Cael sat down on a chair and patted his lap signaling for me to come over. Me, being me, decided to sit on his lap. Nooope that is not what he meant! He said that we were starting maintenance now, took me OVER (not onto) his lap, and gave me a firm spanking. It wasn't terribly long but it was definitely forceful and I felt it. While over his knee he asked me to state who was in charge and who I was to obey. There was no kidding around or play, it was business. When he felt he had made his point he let me up and asked me to kneel in front of him and give him a hug. He reassured me that I was not being punished nor was I trouble; this was just a spanking to keep me in my place. Granted, I had known all along that it was maintenance but I really appreciated him talking me through it and making sure I knew at the end that I shouldn't feel punished. He was also a love and didn't make me go to the corner; that will be reserved for punishments.
After that we went to the couch to watch some TV. Cael told me to lay my head in his lap and then turned on the television. Next, he told me I had two choices:
1) I could begin my task to keep up with the news and we could watch a news show and then he would reward me after.
2) We could watch a show or movie I wanted to watch and I'd get punished after for choosing not to start my following of the news.
While I had been looking forward to watching a fun movie with him, I was not in the mood for ending the night with a punishment. So, I went for the former. It actually made me feel good to willingly watch the news with him, it felt like active submission and I enjoy his acts of dominance, especially when they are done to make me better or to make our relationship better. He was so sweet about it. After about 45 minutes of the news he let me choose a Netflix movie :)
On a totally different note, I have added a "Recipes" tab to my blog. I adore cooking in general and especially for Cael. Last night I baked a carrot-arugula tart for him. Here's the link:
Carrot-Arugula Tart
Recipe Page
I'll be posting more food the more I cook!
I liked this post! I've read your blog for a while now, but this was great! Such communication and progress...very encouraging! ;-)
ReplyDeleteWelcome, Ruth! Thanks for the comment :) I agree communication is key, I've found that this lifestyle has aided me in being a better communicator in general. Cael is great at communication as it is but I'm shy. DD has really forced me to open up to him. It's definitely a process though, I'm excited to see where it brings us!
DeleteOkay, I love how you have added a recipe tab to the blog as well. I was just thinking the other day that I needed to include more recipes in my blog, because I love it when others do it as well!!
ReplyDeleteJust found your blog through another I follow and hope to read more often! :)
sarah
Hi Sarah! Welcome! I had actually been considering creating a separate food/nutrition blog (despite the cupcakes, etc. that I bake for Cael, I'm actually a health-nut!). However, there are sooo many amazing food blogs out there already that I decided to just add a tab on this blog instead. Plus DD and cooking for your guy kind of go together!
DeleteI'll definitely check out your recipes as well!
I have a separate vanilla blog for recipes. We do some specialty cooking, like gluten free as well as low sodium and trying to keep things relatively healthy. It can be difficult to find recipes that taste good and stay within these mandates! So when I find one, I share it! :)
DeleteBTW, I also deleted your recent comment on my blog. :( No need to go back and re-post it. I just wanted to let you know in case you go back and see it's not there.
Adding your link as well! :)
sarah
eeep, I meant to say I *accidentally* deleted your comment on my blog! LOL
Deleteha ha thanks for the clarification! :) That's really neat you have a vanilla blog as well! I actually found a really great vegan-gluten free dessert blog. The stuff on there looks amazing and healthy. I'll send you the link if you want! I'm not going to post it on here because I don't want her to see there was a referral from an "adult" blog lol.
DeleteThanks for the link, I'm adding yours too!
I love reading your blog. I catch myself smiling throughout certain parts, because you two just seem so darn cute!
ReplyDeleteAww you're so sweet to say that!! Thanks for stopping by, PLB!
DeleteYou are so cute! I love that you love to make your man happy! It is truly the most precious thing! I love your blog, and so enjoy receiving your comments on mine! .... personally I do not keep up with the news, and I agree it's a little arrogant, but it makes me so sad, and upset and confused ( I know, I hope no one thinks I am pathetic haha). Thankfully Ken would never require this of me because he knows how it affects me. It is a really interesting rule though, and I think it's a great idea!!
ReplyDeletexo
Barbie
Hi Barbie, I enjoy your blog and comments as well!! I agree, the news is sad and upsetting at times :( But I feel that I owe it to those suffering to at least read their stories, hard as it may be. And politics, well, that can be sad too sometimes (lol) but in a completely different way!
DeleteI think it's great that you're both doing things for each other, to make one another happy. That's how it should work in any relationship really. I don't always enjoy the things that I do for Michael, but I do them to please him. And I know that there are things that he doesn't enjoy doing, but he does them to make me happy. ;)
ReplyDeleteI think that's wonderful that you and Michael will do things for one another, even if you don't necessarily enjoy whatever that thing is. I agree, it enriches a relationship when both do things for the other, that's how you know a couple is truly invested. I think it's also important to have something in common that we both do together in order to keep it interesting; whether that be taking a cooking class, dance class, or reading the news, for example.
DeleteCael mostly does DD for me, he says he is "neutral leaning toward positive" on the lifestyle. So, I'm happy we were able to find a few things for me to do that would please him and make DD worthwhile/just make him happy in general.
Aww sweet :) and I look forward to more of your recipes too :)
ReplyDeleteDee x
I'll be posting some homemade brownies with marshmallow frosting soon! Cael asked me to bake them yesterday and he brought it into the office today.
DeleteYa know, there's a real neat give and take here with you two. I like how you respect each other and how your submission seems to be fueling his ability to be a good leader. Very cool!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Susie :) It took some experimentation for me to realize I should sit back and let him lead. For a while I tried to micro-manage the whole DD thing, which didn't work at all really. I've found that sitting back and saying "yes" a lot more and "no" a lot less has made a huge difference! And, I'm actually much happier. I didn't realize how good submission could feel...sometimes anyway ;o)
Deletewhat a cool post, that was a good talk, its good when they take the lead like that.....i hope he stays consistent for you. I NEED more talking i really do. Ive drafted an email...but hoping to find my courage to talk rather than email :)
ReplyDeletelooking forward to the recipes :)
love and hugs kiwi xxx
Yes, I'm hoping he stays consistent as well!
DeleteAlso, I can completely commiserate; talking is very hard for me. I'm naturally a shy person and it especially shows when I'm face-to-face. My thoughts get jumbled and sometimes my mind will go blank. However, Cael prefers face-to-face talking. He reads my blog because I ask him to but he'd much rather I talk to him about it. I find it's easiest if I prepare myself ahead of time and rehearse in my head exactly what I'll say. I think it's great you drafted an email, that's good preparation as well as a great way to organize your thoughts. Just be ready. Think about what you want to say. Then, think about what he may say to counter you and prepare a response accordingly. I've found that method to help although I'm with you, talking is still really hard!
If you want any help/encouragement, feel free to shoot me an email! The address listed on my blog :)
Hi Riley, thank you, ill heed your advice and send you an email to say hello anyway :) xx
DeleteSounds good, Kiwi! :)
DeleteI have been lurking for a while but felt compelled to write today. The talk in the car sounds like a good one. I like your new rules as well. Keep us posted on how the maintenance is working.
ReplyDeleteHey dancingbarez, thanks for de-lurking! :) I will be sure to keep you posted on maintenance! Cael doesn't like being "predictable" so I can't say for sure when the next maintenance session will be but hopefully it'll happen regularly enough to put me in the proper "subset."
DeleteYou guys have a good thing going. I wish I could appreciate and embrace my rules as well as you do! Both of us stay current on political happenings together, but he enjoys it more.
ReplyDeleteAwh well I think part of what made it easy this time was that I was the one who asked him if there was anything I could do to make him happy. Had he imposed those same rules, but without my asking or without an explanation, I don't know that it would have gone over quite as smoothly! It also really helps me to think about the reason behind his rule and how it will benefit either or both of us. Usually I can find a reason and if I can't, we'll talk.
DeleteThat's great you and your husband stay current together :)